It feels like…

It feels like –

I’m in love!

I wanna dance in the kitchen,

and scream as loud as I can until I can’t breath in anymore.

Not because I’m angry, but because I need to

move.

It feels like

JUMP!

Dive!

Spin ’round and ’round in circles

until I can’t stop laughing

and I can’t see straight.

It feels like

grab all the people I love

and squeeze them all

because we’re all dying.

But no one else seems to see it

except for me.

 

– Rachel R. Vasquez, 1/15/2016

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I don’t even know if I should call this a poem. More like something impulsive I had to write and get out this morning. Maybe someday I’ll refine it and it’ll be pretty but, meh. It is what it is.

Beloved Stranger

Beloved Stranger
I knew you in the dark
Where the depths
Blind us from one another

I knew that gaping hole
That swallows more and more of you
With each passing day

I knew the wandering in the desert
When the sun blanches our eyes
And it’s too cold at night

Even though I knew you
I never found you
Beloved stranger

– Rachel R. Vasquez, 2/12/2015

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Was thinking of a cousin of mine who would have been the same age as me, but she passed away years ago. We were a lot alike, but living states away, we never realized it. Long story short, she suffered from depression, hung out with the wrong crowd, and passed away getting drunk one night with friends before their car pitched into a lake or river. She gave up one day, and God took her.

Sometimes I wonder how I was never able to find someone in the same darkness I was fumbling around in at the time. I wonder sometimes, what if we would’ve found each other somehow? Would she still be here today?

The penguin on a recent episode of Gotham had an odd moment of wisdom. He said, “Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light”. Could I have been her friend in the darkness? I will never know now…